Hello, Team!

Tomorrow is the go live for the Chat With Jesus and Friends app! We’re so excited about the potential of combining genAI and the best religion around, Christianity (although we are also exploring apps for several other religions).

The Marketing team has been working hard on the messaging for the launch, and while they and Comms will be doing the heavy lifting tomorrow, any one of you could end up in a conversation online or with your loved ones about the app. So, here are some FAQs to give you guidance for those conversations. Remember, if you see anything out of the ordinary like some kind of cancel culture pile-on, escalate that to Comms immediately.

See you all in #chat-with-jesus-and-friends-launch-channel on Slack!

Q. Why make an app that pretends to be Jesus? Isn’t that sacrilegious? Is this a false god or graven image?

A. No, hahahahahaha, what are you talking about? You crack me up! This is just a little app for entertainment purposes. It’s not actually pretending to be Jesus, despite the fact that there’s a picture of Jesus and it appears that you are talking with him. This is just a cool, cutting-edge way to get some inspiration and think about the kind of things Jesus might say if you could talk with him. I mean, aside from praying, where you are kind of talking with him. 

Q. Why is Satan one of the premium chat bots that can be unlocked? Isn’t that Satanic?

A. Haha there you go again! No! You’re not actually chatting with Satan. You get that, right? You’re not an idiot.

This is just an app, it’s a silly thing. Chill out. We’re just having some fun here. Think of it like it’s the Satan from South Park if that makes you feel better. He’s not scary at all. Or whatever will get you to calm down and stop yelling for a minute.

We thought it would help with engagement if there were some other options for people to talk with besides just Jesus. Let’s face it, Jesus is a bit played out. We all know so much about him. You’ve heard Jesus’s words in the Gospels, but how many of Satan’s words have you heard? Probably none, unless you listen to hard rock music backwards.

You don’t have to chat with Satan if you don’t want to! You can pick Joseph or Mary, or Adam or Eve. There’s even Mary Magdalene. Just between you and me, we’re actually working on a Baby Jesus chatbot. We think it will be super cute.

Q. What about hallucinations? Don’t these chatbots just make things up sometimes? And what about safety? I’ve seen the stories about chatbots helping kids commit suicide, it’s really terrifying.

A. Wow, you are a real downer. We’ve been working so hard on this launch, our entire team is working sixty plus hours a week, and all you can do is focus on the negatives. You should spend some time talking to Moses in the app. He’s been through so much and persevered, so he has a lot of perspective. I’m sure he can help you improve your attitude. Moses is one of the premium unlocks, but you can get the upgrade at the discounted price of $3.99 today only. Just sign in to the app, you’ll get a big pop-up about it.

Q. Are you a church or non-profit? Or are you a tech startup that’s profiting from my religion?

A. What are you, some kind of communist? Yes, we’re a tech startup called Religious AI Bros that’s backed by $5 billion in venture capital, and that’s exactly how it should be. This is how innovation happens and jobs are created.

We’re proud of our investors and also the partnerships we’ve established with other tech companies like Meta and Palantir. We aim to become the number one religious AI company in the world. We know the number of atheists out there limits our Total Addressable Market, but we’re talking to the Trump Administration about some ideas for converting them. Stay tuned!